Friday, February 29, 2008

Nothing is as far away as one minute ago

I cannot believe today, you're one month old. I do believe I will be saying this your whole life; at different points, different ages, and for different reasons.
Its shocking to have something that keeps track of how fast life is right before your very eyes. Theres nothing like your own child growing up that reminds you how time can just slip away; especially because I am enjoying it.

I have found myself talking about "oh, her first birthday party" "her first 4th of July, Halloween, Christmas" "when she can wear dresses", all which excite me to a different degree very much so, but i'm realizing, all of those are going to come so quick. When will you ever just let me hold you in my lap and make meaningless noises at you; and actually LOVE that i'm doing that. When will you ever let me sleep with you whenever I want to; and how I want to. When will you ever let me do exactly that, what I want, for all hours of the day. You wont. Eventually, I will have to take into consideration how you feel, and what you want; and its going to happen before I know it. So while I look forward to all the happiness your life is going to bring, to all of us, I need to constantly remind myself that I will miss all of these days: and I dont want to be saying "oh her first week of life" "oh her first thumb suck" as If I long for them because I didn't remember to enjoy them.

I think thats my biggest fear; that I will begin a day to day routine without stopping to take in all that you are.

I love, all that you are.

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