Nothing is as far away as one minute ago

I cannot believe today, you're one month old. I do believe I will be saying this your whole life; at different points, different ages, and for different reasons.
Its shocking to have something that keeps track of how fast life is right before your very eyes. Theres nothing like your own child growing up that reminds you how time can just slip away; especially because I am enjoying it.

I have found myself talking about "oh, her first birthday party" "her first 4th of July, Halloween, Christmas" "when she can wear dresses", all which excite me to a different degree very much so, but i'm realizing, all of those are going to come so quick. When will you ever just let me hold you in my lap and make meaningless noises at you; and actually LOVE that i'm doing that. When will you ever let me sleep with you whenever I want to; and how I want to. When will you ever let me do exactly that, what I want, for all hours of the day. You wont. Eventually, I will have to take into consideration how you feel, and what you want; and its going to happen before I know it. So while I look forward to all the happiness your life is going to bring, to all of us, I need to constantly remind myself that I will miss all of these days: and I dont want to be saying "oh her first week of life" "oh her first thumb suck" as If I long for them because I didn't remember to enjoy them.

I think thats my biggest fear; that I will begin a day to day routine without stopping to take in all that you are.

I love, all that you are.

you know how it's done

Yesterday you picked up your binky all by yourself.. You held onto it, waved it around, and then put it in your mouth; it was amazing that such a small thing to me, would be well, amazing.

I felt proud of you. Definately not the first time (as the first time I felt proud of you was when we were in labor together, i'd talk to you and tell you come on "baby" its just me and you; and we are going to get through this together. When you came out healthy and made it through quite possibly the most traumatic experience I hope you will encounter for many years to come, I felt SO proud of how strong you were.

Daddy was gone for his first trip away from us this weekend. He had a skate thing in Ohio (he was freezing).

I decided to give you your first REAL bath yesterday. You were screaming before it (all naked and exposed) but once you hit that warm water, it was all heaven to you from there on. You did really well; i'm going to look forward to bath time with you, especially as you get older and we can make it playtime!

You continue to make my heart glow. Your sweet, soft, peaceful face when you sleep captures my heart over, and over.

I love you Lillian<3

Thumbs, Hands, Feet

Today was a BIG day!

We picked up your announcement pictures; they were completely adorable. I still can't believe I took you out at one week of age and did that, you are just so alert and good for your age.

You sucked your thumb for the very first time. You found it and started sucking on it! It was so cute; time will tell if you will be a thumb sucker.

We got your hand and foot prints done today on clay.. let me tell you; you were NOT happy!!
I had to hold you down; it was so sad =( It's not that she was hurting you, you just didn't want to be manipulated.



Then, we went and had some pictures taken with Shannon (she did my maternity pictures)http://shannonlottphotography.com/, they too are adorable! You weren't happy being naked, but you are so photogenic, theres no way anyone could tell you weren't very happy for portions of it.

Happy Late Love Day!

Yesterday was ♥ Valentines ♥ Day!

By the way, you had one outfit for the whole entire week! Everyone wanted you dressed up for Valentines!

Daddy and I went out to PF changs: the wait was an hour and a half long, but we enjoyed dinner once we sat down. You hung out with grandma and grandpa and did just fine while we were gone.I didnt' get to eat my spicy food because it might upset your stomach; but you're worth the loss of that! ;-)

We made cookies and dipped pretzels in chocolate for everyone from us; and you gave your only man in your life his first valentines card from you : ) He had the hugest smile on his face.

Today, I'm going to work for the first time since you've been born (only for 4 hours though, and late late tonight). Dad gets to have a go at this whole mommy thing all on his own. Good luck little one (ha)

Swwet dreams are made of you

We awoke this morning to daddy telling us how much he loves us because of how sweet we looked when we were sleeping; it was very cute; and to wake up to your face IS the sweetest in thing in the world. You sleep so peacefully with no cares in the world.

Tomorrow is Valentines day and yesterday we took your pictures for our cards :) They are very cute! Tomorrow i'll post it in here for my Valentine entry.

This morning you got Grandma Wright good.. she changed your poop diaper, got you all wrapped up like a burrito in your blanket, and you went AGAIN!

Now daddy is changing you AGAIN!

YOU'RE A MACHINE TODAY =P

Stack em' up!

Today was free pancakes at IHOP for national pancake day, and daddy and I went at 8 30 pm, while you hung out with Grandma and Grandpa Wright. I don't even like pancakes much but we made it dessert and it was nice to spend an hour with him.

Not all rainbows are pretty

Well, this morning you really threw me for a fast one. As I was changing your diaper, cleaning you up; you made a huuuuge fart noise and out flew projectile poop like a rainbow all over everything; at 3 am!

This was not so pretty Lillian.
We had a laugh about it though.

Daddy is at work until 11 pm tonight; and i'm definately missing him; as i'm sure you would if you knew. I just wish he could have the same amount of time off from work, so that he could enjoy all these minutes with you as I get to.

Love you much, poopy thing!

Time flies and it all ticks away

Daddy surprised mommy tonight with her favorite ice cream from coldstone (coffee with heath bar). He knows just how to make me feel a little better, even after his long day at work. He's trying so hard; and everytime it gets tough, he says he's doing it all for his girls. He loves you so much already.

You'd laugh if you could sometimes. He's not used to taking care of babies, but he tries so hard for you. Just for example, the other night when we were putting you into a new gown (you pooped through because your diaper wasn't tight enough.. cough your dad cough), I asked him what size it was (remember you're tiny, I need the smallest possible), he replied 0-5 months. There is no such size in baby clothes, but it was probably around 3 am, we were both tired, and I didn't really have the energy to think this one through.. until morning. I looked at your gown and it said O/S... ONE SIZE haha. Granted at that time of the night, in basically the dark, and daddy being tired; we had a small laugh about it once I figured it out.

Tonight after you ate, you laid against my chest, your arms straight up as if you were hugging me; and I became sad for a moment realizing you're already 1 week 4 days old. It feels like yesterday already that you had just come out. I already want this whole 11 days of your life back, to experience this happiness all over again. It brings tears to my eyes to just know that everday for the rest of your life, I will want yesterday back because I enjoy you SO much.

Don't get me wrong, everyday I take full advantage of you being here, but it's not enough. I realize as you get older, everyday is going to bring something new, something you'll learn, something that will make my heart melt over and over again; and although your future holds so much I want to know and see, i'm trying to hold on to these moments of your new life, and this overwhelming love as much as I can.

My heart aches with so much love Lillian, and one day when you're a mother; I hope you feel this overwhelming joy.

Lights, Camera, Flash!

Today was your first photo shoot at Sears. One week old pictures for your birth announcements and plain ol' just to haves.

You did pretty well except for the fact that you were HUNGRY. So in between prop movements and background changes, you ate. You didn't really like the flash, and sometimes it made you cry; but overall you did really well.

Lita was with us which helped because it can be a handful trying to find that right pose. Your pictures arrive in 2 weeks, so i'll edit this post then, with them.

WELCOME LITTLE ONE

You're a GIRL !!

Oh my gosh i'm so excited. You should see the pink that's everywhere. You've got your daddy all in a whirlwind with it!

Before I forget, let me jot down some notes about labor with you.We went in at midnight on the 28th to be induced. I was 1 cm and 60% effaced when I showed up at the hospital. After 12 hours of natural laboring, I had them stick me with an epidural :) At hour 17, we were only 4 cm dialated and 90% effaced. You and I were both very tired and you started to become intolerable to the pitocin which made the doctors decide to stop the pitocin; and once they stopped the pitocin, all labor contractions stopped as well- meaning that you just weren't ready to come out, and even medicine wasn't going to make you! So, they decided to get you out by C-section. Overwhelmed from a lack of sleep, no food, and just being ready to meet you and know that you were a girl, sent tears down my face as I readied to meet my whole world.

You were delivered at 8:10 p.m.
6 lbs, 15 oz (which by the way they said you'd be 9 pounds at least since you weren't moving down in natural labor! ha weren't they wrong, you little thing you!)
19 inches (we knew you'd be a long one!)

Mom's blood pressure went crazy after delivery, and I had to be on magnesium for 48 hours (that stuff is harsh but we made it through)After 5 days in the hospital, we finally got to go home.

I wish I could have written all of these past 7 days but it just dawned on me that this would be a great idea; to chronicle the days of your life through my eyes and feelings; and later share it with you. Perhaps when you're pregnant yourself :)

My First Entry:

You lay next to me right now, arms straight up next to your head, fingers tucked into your preemie outfit (told you that you were tiny), hands clenched in which you make me want to yell "hoorah", which I have done on occasion because you look like you're shouting for joy. You squirm and wiggle, trying to find a comfortable spot in your boppy, and find some soothing from your binky.

You lay there, completely trusting that someone is going to take care of you, love you, and provide everything you need. Your full of innocence, trust, loyalty, ease, beauty, purity; all the things that only change through human nature as you get older. But right now, right this second, you have everything that most people have lost throughout their life because its not always an easy place, but it's one you adapt to; its one you will learn to be strong in, to have courage in, to trust in, to befriend in, and most of all to love in.

You already show signs of great strength, trust, and the ability to adapt to other people and different situations. Your middle name is suiting you well, as Victoria means victory and conqueror. As well as your first name Lillian, which means beauty, innocence, and purity. And my gosh, are you beautiful; you really are.

I love you.. It's time for mommy to put away your clean clothes :)

INTRODUCTION

So, I've decided to write a journal that consists of thoughts, sayings, feelings, & daily "news" for Lily so that when she is older she will be able to read back "into the old days"

Can you believe that, i've resorted to knowing i'll be called "the old days" ha

Parenthood: it comes at you fast!

This is my backup website; in case livejournal goes down before I can share it all with her!